So much beauty in life.
Shining on the outside,
Empty in the inside.
This song had been released on the radio before, if I'm not wrong. I hadn't give it much of a thought then, since it received it's fair share of radio airplay and I wish not to listen to it when everyone else was swooning over the guy. I've got the CD, and to be honest, this song's pretty sweet to listen to, now that everyone's into other music and it had been long forgotten.
Haven't really been blogging, mainly because my life isn't always filled with interesting events. The Joga3 Futsal competition was once again, missed out due to Zachary having tuition. To be fair, the guy's really overloaded with school commitments of every kind. Studies, prefect duties, CCA trainings on almost every day of the week, and peer supporting, you name it all. Rather than finding fault with him, I looked up to him as someone of real strength and undying faith. We can give any competition a miss, but no, I wouldn't want to miss out a friend like you.
Are you hiding still,
Don't you want to love yourself?
Don't you know that someone will?
The Word Power Challenge. To be honest, I hadn't paid much attention to it, and the test would be at 9am tomorrow. I'm trying to memorise whatever I could now, but I'm hardly motivated to do so. I'm low on confidence, and I don't think I would advance to the next round, given that I'm just starting now. On another note, I'm looking forward to being the station master of tomorrow's East Coast outing. Want extra points? Say something nice, and you might just receive 5 points for that. :D
So I'm following the sound.
The sound of my heart, beating.
Much had happened over the weeks, and I see no point in listing now everything. One thing I'm gonna admit is that I haven't been doing my quiet time for so long. Everytime I lie on bed and close my eyes, a silent voice would call out at me to do it, yet I just shrug it off wearily. I'm determined to do my quiet time today, and it seems that I've so much to say, so much to ask. From financial blessings to relationship healings, from my once again declining interest of studying to my dad's healing. All this, I've no say to how it might end up, but I know deep inside, that God has plans for everything.
Now, to school. My focus on school had not been like the start of the year. Maybe it's the increased distractions I've failed to distant myself from, or maybe it's just me not having the willpower to focus on my goals long term. But I'd like to build on the success of my TA1, and improve once again, and to prove all my critics wrong. Do I have the determination? We'll see, the mid-year examination are nearing. And I've got much to catch up.
You can take it all away.
I don't need it.
Underneath, I'll still be the same.
I ask myself, do I want to play the guitar in cell group? Deep down, my heart yells, yes. But a part of me forces the word no, out of my mouth. Maybe it's the lack of self-confidence, I don't know. I don't think I'm good enough to do so, though it's one target I've set out to acheive this year. Now that the opportunity is in front of me, and still is, why am I reluctant? I just have to grab it, but it's not easy.
Replies to tags:
Carey: You bet it did. I'm going for the CGS funfair, reserve one ticket for me! I'll help you sell your other four. Commission, hoho. :D Let's go out sooooon!
Evangeline: Yeah, right. I'm yawning now that I think about it. Well, goodnight. (:
There you are. The summary of what happened in recent weeks. It's past twelve now, so I'm heading to sleep now. Anna would be breathing down my neck if I'm late for church again tomorrow. (:
Coming in with nothing,
I'm leaving with the same.
It's all inside.
Coming in with nothing,
The only thing that stays,
Is here inside.
Goodnight. (:
Take another ride on the Sunshine Highway,
Take another ride, try to turn it around.
Been listening to lots of new songs from various artists, and came across some okay ones, some kick-ass ones, and some that makes you jump up and down and click your heels. Sunshine Highway's one of them. (:
After making a trip down to Toa Payoh in mid-afternoon and forgetting to bring along the cash, I finally got them after dinner. I can see, well and far now, so yeah. No more feeling my way around, or squinting to look at Bible verses. (:
You were up all night at the Captain's table drinking tango and gin by the old piano.
Playing cards and smoking cigars 'til the sun came up,
Or was it going down for the night ?
Cool stuff.
I miss reading books. I miss the times when I could just lie down, with a good book in hand, and read till I doze off into the night. It was a habit of mine, which probably lead to me wearing spectacles down, but I would choose to do so all over again if given the chance. If only there's a good book right here now, and some quality time for me to enjoy it, ahh. Yes, if only. (:
Take another ride down the Sunshine Highway,
Take another ride, try to turn it around tonight.
I've got a feeling I'm not gonna finish all the holiday homework given to us. I'm feeling sleepy, and the worksheets and books on the table don't seem too appealing. Hmm.
Goodnight. (:
Replies to tags:
Donovan: Hell yeah. Toothaches suck, big time.
Nicolette: Haha, you can be the only exception. :P
Leila: Hmm, so Wednesday's the confirmed date ?
Nicolette: No, I wasn't then, but I am now. Thanks for asking. (:
Anita: Ahh ! Where have you disappeared to ? I haven't seen you for sucha loooong time, and to think we live that close to each other. I've been hoping to go out with you, and Carey, and Donovan, but the holidays are passing by real fast. Shucks. ): Anyway, I'm alright now, your tag put that smile right on my face. <3
Donovan: Yeah, to hell with the school and their way of doing things. I can't wait to get out there and work my ass off, instead of studying and getting reprimanded for it.
Beitris: HELLO ! Yeah, I know, and I will. (: Game of chess and traditional tea, yayee. :D
Anna: Thanks, I'm feeling okay now. Go blog, go blog, go blog. Glass. Got. Into. My. Eyes. Ow. (x
Nicolette: Haha, blind's not like that ! Blind's like this -> O.O Okay, that looks like an owl. Nevermind. (:
Evangeline: Haha, my " hellooo " disappears every 5 seconds ! Your singing puts everyone to sleep okay. Hahaha.
Sheryl: Yeah, sure thing.
---
Side note:
Jack Johnson - Never Know is playing in the background now.
Sweeeet.
Another sunny day,
Has come and gone away,
In Paris and Rome.
But I wanna go home.
Listening to Michael Buble isn't a bad idea on a boring Thursday night.
I was feeling way bored at home this afternoon, being in conversations/group conversations that includes lots of pictures, Evan's singing and comments after comments on a particular alien TV show. Basically boring, and even boring-er stuff. It was then, that soccer became an obvious option.
Grabbing a ball, and with my two brothers tagging along, we trudged down to the old neighbourhood field, a small one, but big enough for matches, shooting, or just basically showing off your tricks. I was hoping that the kids would be there, already in the middle of some match, but no, it waas empty. So we played, shooting and juggling. After doing a series of tricks, guess what happened.
MY BELOVED SPECTACLES BROKE.
And the glass got into my eyes, I was sent to the hospital, and told that I was going to be blind. Forever.
Gotcha.
Okay, that was pretty dumb. ( Anna fell for it ! Ha! :P ) We-ell, I haven't got any choice next. Went to Toa Payoh to order a new set of lenses with mum, and on the whole journey, I was complaining and tricking everyone I was talking to that I had became blind.
Maybe surrounded by
A million people, I
Still feel all alone.
I just wanna go home.
One question struck me. I wonder, how would the world react if the worst was to happen ? Or rather, if you were to meet with some sorta freak accident and lose a limb or two, would the people out there still regard you as a friend ? Would you still be invited to play in a soccer match or two ? Would you ever be accepted, again ?
Another winter day has come,
And gone away.
And even Paris and Rome,
And I wanna go home.
Let me go home.
Back to reality. I completed the Elementary Mathemactics Paper 1 and 2 toady ! Okay, it's not really completed, I skipped the dumb graphs questions, like two or three, but hellooo. I bet everyone else hasn't done it. A round of applause, please. (:
Let me go home.
I had my run.
Baby, I'm done.
I gotta go home.
Let me come home.
It'll all be alright.
I'll be home tonight.
I'm coming back home.
And now, why not shut those eyes of yours, and doze off into deep slumber.
Goodnight. (:
Of balconies, wine-sipping, and 5-star hotels, that little pact we made was the only thing that brought a smile to my face today. That pact is gonna be one of the reasons why I'd be willing to put up with everything and everyone. Not because of the treat, but because you're one of the people I wouldn't want to disappoint, or to be looked upon as somone who falls easily. For that pact, for the few teachers that encouraged me, for God, and for myself, I'm gonna prove myself to the world.
Thank you.
Faded away, like the colour in a blue sky,
At the end of the day.
Night falls, and the search begins for something,
Something better than this.
I tried strumming my guitar as hard as possible, hoping that the strings would break or something. I wished I could just pick up my guitar and slam the entire thing on the wall. Then, I turned to my ball. I just rammed it at the wall again and again, shaking the entire house and waking everyone up.
Do I care ? No.
A scream or a cry, the truth or a lie,
I'm not sure they will save us this time.
I don't wish to be around,
When it all comes down,
To watch something beautiful die.
I ran for the aquathalon today, and I don't wanna elaborate too much on it. I just felt like sweating it all out on a friday afternoon, then end the race panting for breath. Parents-teachers meeting irritated the hell out of me, I'd have beaten up the teacher right there and then if my parents were not around. I improved, damn it, and I've got absolutely no idea why I got that much criticism, instead of praise. Yeah, so my results were not really pretty, but hey, it's a start. Get on my nerves again, and I swear I'll fling that chair right at your smirking face.
I'm truly sorry. I've got no one to turn to currently, and I've been venting my frustrations on everything I see or find lying about. This blog was once a place I could write freely, and now it seemed to have become a place where I'm judged and condemned. But now, I don't care anymore. Say whatever you want, and you can criticise for all I care.
Helpless, cause my hand are tied.
Eyelids pinned back so they're opened wide.
In a theatre, all alone in the front row,
To watch something beautiful die.
I swore that I'm gonna put my life straight, starting with my results. And what I said, I made sure I did. But what I got was more criticism, more discouragements. What was meant to take away the burden on my shoulders only added yet another ton of weight. List me any way I can take, that would lead me to just a moment of peace, yet it's somehow impossible. Signboards point to different cliffs, all beckoning me to fall deep into the pits of hell.
Look for the feeling that we lost.
Where did we have it last?
Maybe if we retrace our steps.
But we can't find the path that led us here to where we stand.
Face to face to watch this bitter end.
Now something beautiful is dead.
I don't care.
And I refuse to be bounded.
Yes, shoot me.
Is it love tonight ?
When everyone is dreaming,
Of a better life.
The week's gone by pretty quick. It's a friday night, and here I am again, blogging down the little details of my life.
I've got back my results, and I'm okay with it. I'll post up all my results soon, right after we get back the yet to be processed chemistry results. I'm happy with my A1 for my Additional Mathematics, cause I kinda showed the people who had put me down before the exams that I'm not that useless a weakling. However, my English and Elementary Mathematics were a disappointment. I had expected more, but what's done is done. I shall reflect on every result once I get the finalisation of marks.
I've got a new phone, and while mass-sending my new number to my contact list, I realised that there're some people in my life, that I've forgotten totally about. Thing is, I treasure the times I spend with them before, but it's hard to get back those times. On another note, quarrels and fights have been arising in my life pretty often all of a sudden. I've haven't got the faintest idea why, but one thing's for sure, I wouldn't wanna lose my friends. Therefore, I've decided to make it a point to be extremely gentle and nice to everyone, with not the slightest hint of flaring up at anything. At least, for the next few weeks. (:
See the truth, all around.
Our faith can be broken,
And our hands can be bound.
I'm so looking forward to meeting Jialin tomorrow ! I don't sound like a kid, you shall see. I hope we get to see each other and say hi, sister ! (:
The aching I've experienced these days had disappeared ! Yay, I can run and jump now. Praise the Lord, and thanks to everyone who asked about me or prayed for me. (:
I'd like to thank two people here, Jethro and Desmond. Jethro, for speaking up for me during recess today, it's rare that you voice out your thoughts and I really appreciated your help cause I was feeling kind of cornered. Desmond, for standing by me to go for the hike and convincing the rest to go, and for making me feel better about the conversation before we boarded the bus. Thanks a lot man, really.
Sometimes I wonder, does the passing of time makes the heart grow colder ? It's strange to see people stop loving all of a sudden, or maybe it's just that life works that way- it's hard to really find someone you can love, and trust.
Cause these are the days worth living,
These are the years we're given.
And these are the moments,
These are the times,
Let's make the best out of our lives.
Replies to tags:
( all the way back to february :P )
Anonymous: Hello, if you're someone I know, you're always welcome here ! (:
Esther: You always seem to see me, but you never ever say hi ! Haha, well, you study hard too, and get some great results !
Carey: Is it ? Haha, I don't find it popular.
Nicolette: Hello ! (:
Eve: I'm gonna ring your doorbell in a week's time ! Haha, I miss talking to youuu. ):
Leila: I really didn't know you ever came here ! Bible study ? Haha anytime, that is, if you're free.
Wenhui: Haha, it was your birthday. (: Well, see you on Sunday !
Qixin: I'm sorry I seldom talk to you these days. I shall make it a point to talk to you whenever you're online okay ? I won't forget my little mummy ! (:
Carey: Youuu. Haha. You just love scolding me for absolutely no reason ! I wanna watch movieeee. ):
Nicolette: You take care too. (: I know how to take care of myself, you can go handle your busy schedule !
Donovan: It'd stopped aching already. Haha, Final Destination 3 ? With the usual guys. (:
Evangeline: Haha, thanks for asking and praying for me these days ! I'm fully recovered already. You take care of yourself, you aren't feeling well these days too, right ? Don't play with your teeth, get well soon !
Life works in mysterious ways.
Maybe one day, you'd appear. One day. (:
